Monday, October 25, 2010

08/02/2010 – Rainy Day

I feel completely without joy. The gray of the day and the rain falling outside and tearing on my windowsill reflects my melancholy mood. The ashen color of the sky – bluish gray reflects the sad and beaten down energy I am feeling after enduring a sickness and exhaustion that has lasted with me now for two weeks. Even the warmth of light bulbs inside my home isn’t doing enough to warm my fire and bring me comfort.

The winds are blowing and agitating the branches which sway back and forth and the rain stops and the tears on my window start drying. This energy is the opposite of expansion. People withdraw inside. I find myself staying in to conserve my resource. For me this is frustrating as I’ve been closed off indoors from my flu for too many weeks. This rain isn’t refreshing, its oppressing.

No one is outside. A few cars drive by a little slower and encumbered towards their destination. As the rain frustrated my progress of expanding my life – it has me start reflecting on what’s around me. I find this reflection stifling and depressing in this moment.

What is someone’s life constantly occurred as if a cloud throughout their life was following them around? A life without joy, or lightness, but one filled with heaviness, responsibility, thwartations, overwhelm, apathy, and resentment? I’m reminded of the point Cloud Gate which could life this cloud from a person’s life and see the joy in every moment.

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