3 Days of Oahu Adventuring

Diamond Head Crater...

Here are a few pictures from Monday's adventure to Diamond Head crater, and then Ala Manoa falls hikes. What a full day it was! :) This should give you an idea of Oahu's population explosion:



Manoa Falls Trail...

I wish I had the time to go further into these woods and taken the trail off the side of the falls.







Tuesday...

Tuesday I went to the temple for an additional morning class and found that the second semester students were pretty much on the same par as me regarding their understanding of TCM theory. I also found out that they had covered point location and channel theory for all 12 channels plus extraordinary vessels in one semester - with all point names in Chinese. In my school we do this over the course of a whole year, and we learn the numeric system rather than the Chinese names. They have the same core classes as us, so I wonder what gives in terms of their stress level and ours? I know we covered many many more subjects - but when I think about them, I can't remember what everything was and where all my energy went the first trimester. After meeting with the professor and getting my questions about the spirit channels answered I went back towards the clinic in time for my 1:30 appointment. I met many of the same students I had interacted with and everyone was very friendly. Prior to that I ate sushi at a restaurant which had one of those sushi conveyor belts. It was pretty fun as you can take what you want, and the color of the plate dictates the cost of the item. Mmm... 2 reds, 2 green, and one gray :) Who knew gray could be so tasty!

My acupuncture treatment at the student clinic was so strong that it blew all my qi out - it was too strong and used too many needles for my symptomology. The senior intern used some points that I had no idea about - they were on the scalp and not part of the regular gallbladder and bladder meridian pathways. I was impressed. When I left, I was so exhausted from the treatment and I could barely drive. I had to pull off on the side of the road, recline my seat, and rest for a good half an hour before I could drive again. At the half and hour mark I knew I could not drive because I was exhausted from the treatment, but I felt I had to, and my parking was about to become illegal because of the time of day. Upon returning to the hotel I tried to take an unsuccessful nap.

The treatment was good - it helped alleviate my lung condition entirely and helped me not to worry as much, providing me with many insights, but it left me very depleted. In cases of deficiency the practitioner is to use fewer needled and select fewer points. I don't think this was detected in me given how strong my pulses were and the fact that this was my first time at the clinic.

Question and Answers...

Suzy asked me several questions based on my last blog related to what I'm looking for, and how I will know when I have found it. What follows is an attempt to inquire into those topics:

To answer the question of what is it that I'm actually looking for, I bought a book which arrived several weeks ago but which I have not had the energy nor priority to read. Its a Ken Wilber book on authentic paths to spiritual development. I forget its name. In it he discusses the question of how to find a good spiritual teacher - much of which one can assume naturally. It is this quest that attracted me to Tai Sophia, and this quest that has had me look outside of the Big Island. My time with my sensei is so short each month that I feel like I am not benefiting from the teaching at the pace that is useful, because there is no forum in which to integrate the teaching within the remainder of my TCM training. Still, the teaching I get are not in philosophy, but mainly clinical practice.

What am I missing from my education?

I miss the philosophical basis of this medicine. I miss the integration of foundational concepts. When compared with counseling psychology - its like counseling of the mind, ignoring that there's a body and a spirit, and a couple of hundred years of history and theory. Its like I'm getting training in how to be a mechanic for the human body.

Philosophy in this medicine is of paramount importance if one is to be truly effective. Its like going to church but not knowing anything about the dogma. Every philosophy when executed expresses itself in ritual. In short, what I'm missing is ritual. I miss the power, energy, intuition and self/other awareness that comes with the execution of ritual. Rituals stem from the adherence to and practice of a philosophy in all walks of life - the practice of which grants one the ability to be at one with the philosophy and grants one the results inherent in the execution of the ritual.

The Christian church has its rituals, and the Buddhists and Taoists have their rituals. The rituals I am interested in are the ones that deeply permeate all facets of life - physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual - in a way that grants one capacities of intervention in the life of another in order to create course corrections using words, actions, and intention as tools much the same way as an acupuncture needle can create course corrections in the physical and spiritual plane. For me the Christian church only goes so far in defining ritual at least for the lay person - prayer and adherence to lifestyle principles which tend to ignore and in many cases deny the spiritual and energetic inheritance of man in terms of awareness, understanding, and influence upon the material and non-material worlds through the use of ritual to affect changes in time and space as promised to those who execute the rituals and obey the way. There were those monks who through contemplative prayer (meditation) arrived at a profound understanding and unity with the creator (as they understood him/her) that granted them being and influence in the realm of reality simply through alignment with the way, rather than through an attempt to force one's will upon natural laws as a result of attaining some sort of 'special powers'. Its not about learning magic in order to manipulate the world - its about learning magic to work with what is already at play and therefore help facilitate freeing it from whatever stuck pattern it is in, and thus helping it move on. In short - its about helping things stay in motion - therein lies true power as any stagnation causes disease of the body, mind, and spirit and eventually resulting in death. The place of death and stagnation is a topic for another post.

I seek a teacher who will create an environment wherein I am smelted, reformed and forged through practice and structure imposed through that practice that will purify my metal to the highest quality imaginable, such that it can shine in the world and through its authentic brilliance illuminate the darkness and turn people's hearts to life's preciousness and the love that exists beyond judgements, evaluations, stories, and decisions.

I cannot do this on my own. The story I tell myself is that I'm not strong enough to do this on my own - and this story is an interpretation of facts that seem to jive with the stories of my predecessors. Every great teacher had a great teacher - living or dead. There are few who become spontaneously enlightened, and fewer who generate knowledge and wisdom spontaneously. I was in the doldrums and needed the Landmark Forum to show up to propel me to my next stage of evolution. In similar step I have emancipated myself from my former career in order to pursue total and complete excellence. People whom I deeply respect like Lonny Jerrett, and Ken Wilber all had many excellent teachers. Can I learn Tai Qi and Qi Gong on my own? No. I don't believe that these skills can be learned from a book. They must be passed on. How did inventors create them? Through meditation and deep spiritual awakening - therefore their teachers were in other subjects - but they had teachers nonetheless.

The teachers that exist at my school are excellent, and I do not resonate with them. At the Seitai Shinpo graduation I cried. I cried not for the beauty of the graduation and the graduates impassioned speeches alone, but I cried in mourning knowing deep in my heart that Seitai Shinpo was not the modality I wanted my life to be dedicated to, and I mourned the prospect of graduating amongst that group with my heart not invested in it. I feel so completely uneasy writing this in case someone from the school reads this, because though my heart is not in it, I am learning such valuable things at each opportunity when I am in Sensei's presence. There are few who have this privilege, yet this is clearly not my main path. If my Sensei ended my apprenticeship due to this reason, my decision to look for another school would be made.

I do not know what to do. I do not know whether I should stop learning with Sensei out of integrity to the knowledge that I don't want my life to embody this modality, or whether I should continue to learn this modality and become excellent at it, and therefore add it to my arsenal while learning all else she can teach me, and all else I can learn in other ways - be it through self study, or be it through commuting from Oahu while I attend WMI.

My experience at World Medicine Institute was very mixed.

1. I saw that there is a deep respect and use of ritual in this medicine which sets it very much apart from my school.
2. Student's intuitions are very well developed in this school
3. Student's esoteric diagnostic and practice skills are well honed - including such skills as energy field assessment through observation, palmistry, handwriting analysis, etc. To some these skills may seem completely irrelevant to medicine and may seem completely subjective, woo woo, insubstantiated, and 'of the devil' (according to many non-orthodox traditions - noting exception of the orthodox Jewish Kabala practitioners) - I believe that these are information streams which have their place, but which also need to be regarded with healthy skepticism, and when used appropriately with other forms of confirmation can add to the whole picture of a person's past, present, and future prognosis.
4. I like that they teach the points in Chinese and do not use numbers. It allows one to understand the meaning of each point.
5. The Taoist tradition at this schools has chants for the entire Tao de Jing, they also memorize all 28 pulse qualities by chanting them.
6. Moving here will increase my expenses tremendously. I will need to commute and cost of living is higher. Competition for jobs is very strong.
7. They teach free hand needling style which is more authentic than the insertion tube - though through my treatment experience today - more painful.
8. I dislike their clinic environment. Beds are up against a wall - two to a room. Sometimes two patients are seen in each room. The walls do not go up to the ceiling meaning that the patient can hear all conversations including other people's intake interviews. The healing space is just not set up for optimal treatment.
9. The class schedules are so free form that it gives a person ultimate flexibility. You can miss as many classes as you like. All the didactics are put on your own head to learn. The school focuses on theory application and esoterics and tells you that the rest you can learn from a book, so read the book, memorize stuff and pass the tests. This form of learning will give me more free time than I will know what to do with if I am NOT working. The benefit is that I will truly be able to apply myself to the Taoist arts through meditative practice.
10. So far, I've not found a space on the island devoid of human life. There is a trail off of yesterday's trail which I didn't take - but it would provide solitude. So far I have not seen wide empty expanses such as offered by the Big Island. I will drive the whole isle tomorrow.
11. TCMCH offers me private treatment rooms, a quiet and peaceful atmosphere without the hustle and bustle of a city, but it lacks the teachers who will teach the the esoterics. These teachers are also missing in the community.

As for returning to Tai Sophia after I'm done here? I'm not sure that this will be necessary nor desirable. I do not believe that I will want to postpone launching my practice full time while attending another multi-year program - nor that I will be able to afford it. There are shorter courses for existing acupuncturists. What results - I don't know. What would seem more useful after my program is Lonny's clinical integration course. Still this is all far away.

I have seen an alternative during this trip. It was good. It put the benefits of my school's accelerated didactic program ahead of WMI. It also highlighted what TCMCH was missing. I met a student who transferred from a mainland TCM school just one semester ago because it lacked spirituality. She is finding what she wanted and needed at this school. Though these are subjective experiences and cannot be measured.

How will I know when the teacher shows up? I'm not sure. I have no idea how to look. In a way, I really like what WMI stands for, and what they teach, and the fact that the main teacher is a lineage holder of a Taoist tradition that dates back thousands of years is extraordinary - she's the real thing. Noone at my school can claim that. The prospect of switching schools right now is daunting. I will have to relearn all my points again in Chinese. This shouldn't be too bad. It can be done. I can do it during the summer if I do decide to transfer. So far, my decision is to give it time.

Wednesday...

I woke up with a headache, had breakfast, and unenthusiastically decided to drive around the whole island. My mind neither had the focus to sit still and read a book, nor the peace of mind to stop feeling defeated by the past couple days' worth of events. I could just as easily move here to go to school as stay in Waimea. While Waimea would continue to be a test in survival of boredom and spiritual vacuity, Oahu would be a test of too much distraction and lack of externally imposed focus. In Oahu I would have to really work at creating peace within which I could study - yet I find it difficult to do this even on the Big Island due to the pressing disdain in the holes within my program. I think that if I do move to Oahu, I will have to find some way of having a place on my own. I don't get peace at my home, so I feel like I can leave to go outside to get it in the wilderness of the Big Island. Here on Oahu, I will not have the luxury of wilderness to provide me with the escape to solitude. The cost of living here is extremely expensive, so I'm not sure of my chances. Regardless, I will have to work. This island has extremely high competition for job also.

I long for the simple times - the times when I hated my job, but had an income, where I had my own house, my friends, and the illusion of security for the future. I find myself trapped in the ideations of the future and a postmortem of the past. Rarely am I present. But in this realization I find myself present for but a little while. I am putting all decisions on hold.

The eastern part of the island was overcast and when I emerged at the north shore, the sun shone down again. I drove through many changing microclimates absorbing little of the beauty around me. I spent some time at a beach. Oahu has extremely impressive beaches particularly along the north shore. The whole eastern part of the island, either north or south has little to show for it, however. The mountains of the west are arid and beautiful, and the water the most clean due to no fresh water mountain runoff given this region gets very little rain.



This part of the island, however, is where the projects and shanty towns are located. I couldn't believe the amount of poverty and make shift housing on this very overpopulated island - particularly when contrasted with the opulence of Waikiki. There are quiet and remote places on this island, but many of them are lifeless. I've not found very secluded places here, certainly no off roading to speak of that could yield privacy and solitude like the Big Island.

In the afternoon I drove back through the crawling highway traffic back into Waikiki to meet with Marcia - a 3rd year student whom I've befriended and who was also coming here on spring break. We want to have dinner and run a few errands at the mall. Tomorrow I must check out of my hotel and meet Marcia for some kind of adventure before I head to the airport for a strangely anticipated homecoming.

I will want to have some quiet when I come home. The house will be full with guests for at least another week, however. I will look forward to returning to my studies and put some distance between myself and my very mixed experience on this island. Returning to a routine will be good - it will give me a rest, some perspective, and some solitude where I can consider what my next actions should be.

Conclusion...

Time for debate will have to end soon. Either I stay where I am, go to this Taoist school (which would be the most spiritual TCM-based modality available for study) or throw TCM out the window and go to a Five Element school in Gainsville Florida, or Boulder Colorado - both of these locations have excellent schools - the one in Florida may be better given the caliber of teachers located there. At this point, I'm finding that location is icing on cake. Everyone always likes the icing, but you gotta make sure that the cake - the foundation of the desert is good too, unless ofcourse you're one of those people who will sit and eat icing with a spoon.

More Questions than Answers

Oh what a day. It started off with a 8:30am hike up Diamond Head crater rim. I wouldn't recommend it for anyone who isn't into staircases. One frightening one of extremely sheer 75 steps puts my body mind and spirit to the test. Panting and dripping wet I arrived at the summit.

It was strange to survey this landscape with the potential thought of this becoming my new home. By the end of the evening, however, this idea has raised more questions than provided me with answers.

It was my intention to hike the Manoa Falls trail before having lunch, going back to the hotel, showering, and checking out the Waikiki clinic prior to going up to the temple for school. Instead of going directly to the trail from Diamond Head, I swang by the clinic and instead of waiting to get changed out of my sweat drenched clothing, I decided to walk in - to hell with looking (and smelling) good. There were two student interns, a 2nd year and a 4th year dispensing herbs, and a faculty member supervisor. It was a fairly forced conversation given that we were strangers to eachother, and given that the clinic was busy, I didn't feel right to monopolize their time.

I shared with them my intention of investigating the school and what had led me there. I started asking some questions regarding clinic protocol, but I do not feel like I either asked the right questions, or that I was blocked in some way in knowing that the right questions were. Its difficult to ask people to compare themselves to something else - something that they have no direct experience of. I spoke for about 10 minutes with the professor and learned that on Saturday the school will be hosting a Worsley Five Element guy to talk about 5E acupuncture. I was invited to attend the 9am theory class given by the professor, and I was also invited to make a clinic appointment which I booked for 1:30 tomorrow.

The clinic was small - good Feng Shui, but strange practices. There are two patients per room, with interns wondering in and out to complete various tasks on computers. No privacy, and open ceilings thus ensuring that everyone can hear every conversation. The clinic has 3 treatment rooms, each with two beds. I found this quite odd.

I said my goodbyes and proceeded towards the trail, saving the analysis of the situation for later.

Manoa Falls...

The hike to the waterfall was harder than the guidebook implied - mainly due to the mud that made the hike rather treacherous. Though beautiful, the hike did not compare to Maui's bamboo forest. Still, there was a trail off to the left of the waterfall which according to the park literature promised the real bamboo forest, but due to time constrains and weariness from having done two hikes that morning I decided to return to town to shower and drive to class.

The Temple...

I was not expected at the temple and when I met the principle she was very busy with workload associated with the school's upcoming reaccreditation review. She took some time to talk with me and asked pointed questions regarding why I was considering switching schools. I answered as best I could, and after being given the tour I was sat down in the office while she carried on with her paperwork. It seemed that everything out of my mouth did not convey properly what my intention was as all my questions were Five Element and spiritual point in nature. I was told several times that this was not a Five Element school. I had to defend myself by stating that I knew this, but I had hear that the school integrated Five Element philosophy as well as spiritual acupuncture points. When I finally shared my history I stated that while Tai Sophia was my first choice, I could not go there because of admissions requirements, and that when I chose to go to my current school I really was not well equipped to have known what the curriculum was lacking. So there I was, sitting in a grand master's office, not knowing what on earth to say or do next while being regarded with suspicion. I had laid out my quest with no knowledge of the measure by which I would know whether I had found the solution. I stated that I knew that TCM methodology was Yang and Five Element was Yin and that both modalities are needed to attain balance. This seemed to balance the conversation and resulted in a more open demeanor.

How does one gauge something as subjective as spiritual experience and the tools to communicate it to a patient and attribute it to a certain delivery method which you can then study?

I attended two classes. One was a Qi Gong class, and I must say that I was impressed. The 2nd trimester students were good - very good. The form was performed with mantra chanting which bellowed through the temple giving a resonance to the whole experience. Upon conclusion the teacher provided instruction on calligraphy and its interpretive use as a diagnosis tool of past present and future events both of the calligrapher and the patient about which the calligraphy is created. It was very woo woo and implied a degree of divinatory significance in the subjective interpretation of all observable phenomena associated with each brush stroke and its analysis. All of this made me think back to Ken Wilber's essay on the pre/trans fallacy.

This school will deliver on woo woo, but will it deliver on practical spiritual treatment principles? How can I know this?

I sat through this class and through the single herbs class that followed. The format of delivery was quite different than my school, and was actually less informative, but retained my interest more.

The curriculum itself is structured completely differently than my school. Unlike my school which attempts to deliver all didactic knowledge within the first 2 years and therefore requires 9-6pm classes three days a week, this school's students are completely relaxed and have no collective tension. All classes take places 3 times a week in the evenings, and run a total of 4 hours. People can maintain jobs and have a wide study schedule. It seems that though they cover the same material as my school, there's something about my school that occurs as way harder than this one. I'm not sure I've discovered fully what that is and how great acupuncturists are produced from this school given how relaxed they are! I feel far more ahead given what I have accomplished in my two trimesters than these first years, but they are certainly ahead with the esoterics than my school is. The program is certainly slower though it completes in the same time. If I come to study here, how much would I have to be repeating? Would the slower pace relax me or frustrate me? What would I do with all the spare time?

All in all, I feel like this school is less demanding in its didactic curriculum than mine, yet more demanding in the esoteric curriculum. This is complete conjecture and probably differs from reality. I arrived here hoping for an answer to my questions - while not knowing well what my questions were - hoping for a solution. I am disappointed. Many questions arise which will not be answered by this school for me.

What I intended was to find a solution. Have I adequately identified the problem?
What is it that I am looking for what I am not getting in my school and can any school deliver on what I am looking for?
Is a more relaxed schedule better than a more rigorous one?
What would I do if I actually had time to work?
Do I feel spirit, home, appropriateness at this school? Does the Qi resonate with me? So far, the answer is no.

What I'm disappointed most by is the possibility that I am in the only school I should be in right now, that I'll have to grin and bare it, and that changing it is not going to work in my favor scholastically. It may work for me on many other levels, but I've not identified all that now. Tai Sophia burns in my mind - and yet I also feel that this will not give me everything I'm looking for either. Perhaps I have surpassed appeasement and am now requesting that which doesn't exist.

Tomorrow I attend a theory class and I have a clinic appointment. After that I plan to drive the windward side of the island. The two questions I've come up with so far are - what are the spirit channels and how are they used in this modality, and how does the diagnosis and treatment protocol differ in this modality from 8P TCM.

Picture from the day will follow tomorrow.

The 17th Floor of Queen Kapiolani Hotel. Room 1717

I was in my bunk at the hostel at 10:30. By midnight my eyes were still wide open, and after crawling out of the top bunk and stumbling outside with cell phone and computer, I made a hotel reservation while questioning what I had done in a past life to deserve degree of pain and torture on my spring break. By then it was too late to book in anywhere for the night (and I did think about it), and having made the reservation I resigned myself to returning to my prison cell hoping for divine benevolence. I found the cheapest option through Kayak.com and booked my aerial twin bed extravaganza on the 17th floor of the Queen Kapiolani Hotel. All in all, the room is fine - it has electricity, no roaches, an air conditioner, a bed, and - after banging on the wall to get the neighbors to turn the TV down - a quiet place to lay my head. Above and beyond the $65 a night, I have to pay $15 for the privilege of parking. Many parking garages it seems are ran independently of the bargain hotels.

I was awake the whole night and was aware of the coming and going of everyone in the hostel. plus the shrieks of laughter from returning drunken 20-somethings puncturing the steady rhythmic snores and grumbles from down below adding to my tortured pretending and rocking back and forth that everything was going to be Ok and my vacation was not going to turn into Abu Ghraib. My eyes were bright red when I looked in the mirror this morning - akin to those experiencing waterboarding - and the only thing that propped my eyes open till 3pm when I finally checked into my current hotel in the afternoon was cooing of the Starbucks maiden.

Amidst the series of unfortunate events, including the bursting of a black pen inside my book bag staining my clothes, hands, and computer accessories, the lack of sleep for two days, a car who's power steering would give out on a whim, and getting stopped by a cop for driving down a road where only busses are allowed, my day up till 3pm was tiring, filled with small frustrations, but overall good based on the experiences I had.

Ahh Waikiki...

Only in Waikiki will you find a noodle shop, a chic nightclub for the uber rich with bouncers who's necks are the thickness of your thighs, next to a pistol shooting gallery seemingly manufactured for the Japanese tourist industry and a Salvatore Ferragamo fashionista edifice where women without any muscle left in their arms - but with enough impatient lustful strength in their boney hands and extruding sinews, produce an American Express card out of their Gucci purses in a well worn and fluid motion... and gracefully swipe with a small, tired, yet satisfied sigh.

Where Stupid People come from...

At last - the source of this demographic has been identified, and a few freshly minted copies have been caught on camera. What goes on in Waikiki really should stay in Waikiki. Alas, the gift keeps on giving ;)

Leaving Waikiki...

Once you leave the manufactured plastic and marble playground crawling with white maggots - I mean limos.. and women adorning diamonds on every available surface, accessorizing occasionally with small tatters of strategically draped fabric - you get to experience quite a different Oahu.

Driving round Diamond Head en route to the windward side of the island and my destination - the Valley of the Temples just north of Kaneohe, I encountered an extraordinary sight - hundreds of people, completely unrelated, jogging and cycling along Kalanianaole highway past the mansions, sporting water bottles and brand name spandex and breathable rayon fabrics. A little more lean on my car's steering wheel would have plowed through this artery of gyrating neophytes and scored me at least 10,000 points. Once I passed the freak show of rich panting housewives with prancing poodles along side their pet Tour de France wannabe racer husbands with naired legs and numbered jerseys - the last throws of Waikiki's pretentious excesses gave way to vistas of the most beautiful unspoiled landscapes and beaches I have seen in my short, yet blessed life.

World Medicine Institute...

Nestled within the mountains of this valley is the World Medicine Institute Tai Hsuan Temple. I will be going there tomorrow to sit in on two classes and to talk with the administration about their Chinese Medicine program. I did not venture inside, but decided to snap a few shots for posterity.




East Kalanianaole Highway...

In short - Oahu is unbelievably beautiful - at least the parts that I saw, and I must say that the sights I saw, the most beautiful of which I either did not photograph, or the photos did not turn out well. The beauty I saw tops my previous adoration of Maui's coastline by far, and what Maui and the Big Island offer in terms of Haleakala and Mauna Kea, Oahu makes up for in its welcoming valleys. Maui's and Hawaii's lofty mountains are grand - and the pristine wildernesses compelling - but the treasures hidden on Oahu's weathered windward mountain range and the beaches thereon provide peace and welcome to the heart. Oahu has no highlands or upcountry that I've been to as yet, and this indeed may not exist here. Each island is indeed completely unique and incomparable to another.

The highway gave way to views of splendid beaches with azure water and coral reefs stretching for miles along the barely frequented shores. The towns along this side of the island are small but functional and you're certainly aware of this island being more populated than any of the others. Still, I may find in my quest on Tuesday to drive the whole island that there are more scarcely populated areas to be found. I hope to also go to the bamboo forest I heard about from a friend on the Big Island.






Valley of the Temples...

After stopping a few times to take pictures of some of the many breathtaking sights, I arrived at the Valley of the Templates - a large cemetery against the backdrop of a mountain range. It's known by this name because it is home to so many denominations' temples, including the Byodo-In Buddhist temple - a replica of a temple in Udo(?) Japan, built completely without the use of any nails.

Prior to going into the valley, I stopped at a grocery store to grab some lunch and I ate this very strange but very yummy creation which I pulled out of the deli case - it was a spicy tuna roll, but instead of being in a roll, the spicy tuna filling was put on a bed of rice and sprinkled with roe and dark red pickled ginger. It was very tasty. A note should be made that Hawaii in general is exceptional in terms of having restaurant-quality sushi available at your local grocery store made by in-house sushi chefs at half the price. This is true of all Asian cuisine on Oahu. I was amazed at the amount of Pho restaurants I came across. Not too many Thai, mind you, but my trip is young and I've not been looking :)

Once entering the valley I took my time to drive past some of the monuments and then headed for the Byodo-In temple. I spent about 40 minutes at the temple and took my time to enjoy the scenery. Prior to entering the valley I passed by the grocery store and decided to cut through the only housing development opposite the Valley and much to my surprise I found myself saying - I could live right here next to this valley in this housing community. Its so serene and filled with tremendous outdoor meditation opportunities and opportunities for contemplation. Still, the trip there had taken me 1 1/4 hours with a few minor stops, so I didn't expect that taking the H3 highway back through the mountain would have me back in Waikiki in 15 minutes! How's that from a commute from one world into another?

Had I not been tired, I would have continued along the coast rather than returning to the Honolulu area, but because it was still early I decided to drive to Wahiawa to see whether there was anything there worth seeing. I was sorely disappointed. This place is a dump and reminds me of Langley Park, Maryland. Yes, I know. That realization took my breath away too.

After internally battling over whether I should go through the hassle of exchanging the car, or just dealing with the lack of power steering, I decided to return it and got a Ford Focus instead. I'm not going to complain. The prior car was a Chevy. If they import so many Japanese tourists here, why can't they import a few cars too?




Chinatown...

After exchanging the car, I went to Chinatown, went down a street meant only for municipal vehicles and had the trunk of my car rapped on by the knuckles of a police officer while I was stopped waiting behind a bus. After explaining my complete lack of paying attention, the officer was nice and issued me a warning before wishing me a pleasant day. I parked, bought a few bags of herbs to take back home, and went to eat Pho. Mmmmm... Pho.

Requiem Aeternam...

Grant them sleep, Oh Lord! I only napped an hour. I checked in to the hotel at exactly three pm. After dealing with the broken pen disaster I took a nap. I wanted to sleep more, but my bizarre set of symptoms wouldn't let me. I gave up trying to sleep and in a daze, I proceeded to take my pulses. I detected pulses that I had never felt on myself before - full and large in every position, but especially in Kidney Yang. I gave myself a treatment - tonifying the KD Yin, and draining deficient heat. I also needled several other fire points on other channels based on Zang Fu pairing or 6-level pairing depending on what seemed most appropriate.

I had been building up this excess heat from the Vog on the Big Island. Over the past week it was particularly bad, and it seems that heat had developed which had kept me from sleep and given me a physiological hangover for the past 2 days. After clearing the heat I became aware of a dry cough and phlegm coming up as my lungs were finally releasing the Vog. After the treatment I felt peaceful, balanced, and though tired, I was no longer achy or in a bad mood and decided to hit the town.

After eating some terribly chosen food, I licked my wounds with a vanilla soft serve ice cream and returned to my hotel. Tomorrow I will go to the Bamboo forest in the morning, or hike Diamond Head before heading to the temple to sit in on classes.

MaH2alO Oahu

When I arrived at the Waikiki hostel, on the court yard TV Frodo was entering Mordor, and when I returned after the sun had set for several hours, the hobbits were celebrating the return home back to Hobbiton. It was a very odd realization that one can measure the passing of time based on the time differential between various scenes from Lord of the Rings.

The hostel was a money saving choice. I've never stayed in a hostel before, and the variety of individuals here are many, strange and varied.

Waikiki seems largely manufactured for the Japanese tourist population. People walk the streets wearing billboard advertising events completely in Japanese. Ramen shops and sushi joints scatter the downtown landscape amongst the Saks Fifth, Armani, Fendi, and Dior boutiques lining the main thoroughfare. Many indoor malls and boutiques ala Bangkok have nested in the bellies of the skyscrapers littering the skyline. The city is alive and bustling, but calmly - in a Hawaiian sort of way. I encountered something I thought I'd only encounter in NYC - a Water Bar - maH2alO. Other wonders no doubt await. The 1/2 an hour drive from the airport around rush hour in the tourist district wasn't bad.

In the midst of the rag tag group of backpackers, kids who ran away from home, and frugal world travelers, I find myself completely exhausted from my prior day's lack of sleep. I'm sharing a room with 5 strangers. I have a top bunk. I met the guy who's staying in the bottom bunk. He's British, and red like a lobster. Beyond that, I know nothing about him or the rest of the odd smattering of Europeans throughout this hostel.

Wondering the streets I sat and watched the world go by - busses announcing next stops in soothing female voices, people cleaning and sweeping the streets, traffic - but with no horns blowing, smells and sounds of busy restaurants, and the far away lights of houses lining the reclining slopes of mountains in the distance behind the towers of the metropolis. Its like the bustling clock town from Spirited Away.

Tomorrow I will visit the two locations of where the World Medicine Institute is located. One location in Waikiki is a student clinic and the other is the school located in the Taoist Temple in the hills just outside of Waikiki. My horoscope for this week indicates that I will be at odds with myself. No doubt the possibility of transferring to this program if I find the program compelling will create an internal conflict if I let this dominate my vacation. My intention in coming here was clear - to evaluate this program.

Its 8pm, and though exhausted from lack of proper sleep last night, I'm going to go get some food before going to sleep early. I'm hoping for a restful night despite the 5 people likely to be in various forms of incapacitation and snoring. The cheapest alternative I've found is about $70 per night, and for 5 nights, this will cost me more than I am willing to pay.

I miss the city and I feel at home in the midst of the organized chaos. The vog is here, but it is extremely diluted. One can actually see the mountains here.

Taking on more than I can chew...

I spent the day at a full day choir rehearsal from 9am to 5pm. Afterwards I drove down to the beach to enjoy the first and last hours of sunlight I've had available to enjoy all weekend. I didn't even have strength to read. I instead sat in a chair with my eyes closed till the sun started to set. An hour of the sound of the ocean helped melt away all of the sounds that had filled my head during the full day of rehearsals. I had developed a slight headache by the time I returned home to find my roommates blasting music in the living room. I laid in bed massaging my temples and wondering whether to ask them to turn it down, or leave the house to find some peace elsewhere.

This year's Merry Monarch Hula festival has brought rain to the islands, and only a few hours of sunlight were present today - most of them squandered on indoor activities. It is said that the curse of rain accompanies the festival because sacred flowers are picked in abundance to adorn the hula dancers, and that this bears with it the consequence of heavenly lamentation for the flowers. The rains come consistently on the day of the festival and have for years.

This weekend is the last weekend before finals and before I take off for Oahu. I find myself with only Sunday to study. Choir demands a lot of my time, and given that we had a whole day rehearsal today, it also demanded I cook for potluck dinner. I will also be cooking again tomorrow for my full clinic day in Kona on Monday. I have very little energy to study, so I'm putting faith that the tests will work well in my favor despite this.

I find myself with very little time on my hands to spare. Between classes, choir and clinic, my hours are fully allocated. With the new trimester I am also taking a class which meets once a month for a full day on a Sunday, and I'm also starting 9-6pm weekly clinic observation responsibilities at school on Saturdays. This will leave only Fridays and the occasional Sunday and Monday available for study.

Coupled with starting the new coordination effort on a new website, I feel like I am already stretching myself extremely thin, and choir practice will eat several hours a week out of my events. I am hopeful but not confident that I will find some way to swim with all of these responsibilities and still get all of my school work accomplished.

On top of this, I am having to consider getting a job of some kind in the next couple of months because recent tax expenses have severely cut into my remaining savings. I have several people willing to help me out with finding work, but the thought of adding a job to my already full list seems very daunting. I think that I will have to give up my choir participation after this concert season is over if I am to find time to take care of all of the responsibilities I've taken on.

I may have to cut back on clinic hours to earn a living. This is all speculation right now, but what I need most is some rest. Next week brings with it a thankful end to this trimester, and solutions to these things will come.

In a time of uncertainty, I feel like I must give...

I have entered a world in acupuncture which is as rare, unique, and as unprecedented as it gets.

The background is the thousands of years of Oriental Medicine, and long standing lineages brought from China and Japan into the states and Europe, and primarily taught in its TCM and Five Element forms.

My desired experience is aligned with the Five Element approach to working with the spirit, and my circumstances are aligned with a TCM education currently, and the opportunity to be involved in the learning of and the development of a unique lineage of acupuncture only taught by one 73 year old Sensei in Kona.

According to Shen Nong Ben Cao China’s oldest herbal text also known as the
First Medicine Book, there are three approaches to healing:

"The first and the ‘upper class’ of healing corresponds to heaven and is to do with ones destiny or life purpose.

The ‘middle class’ of healing corresponds to the quality of our life, based on our
positive outlook and choosing to live in harmony with nature and others. The
emphasis here is on prevention of toxic substances as well as toxic
thoughts/emotions.

The ‘lower class’ of medicine corresponds to the treatment of illness itself, and
relates to the remedies from mother earth. The use of herbs and tinctures are
used to assist the body into alignment."

My heart is aligned with a new evolutionary vision for an integral Oriental Medicine practitioner - a model that seeks to unify the split between the Yin of the Five Element tradition, and the Yang of the 8 Principle TCM tradition into a unified modality of healing, and a way of life for a practitioner that defies the predictable former model and takes on the highest class of medicine - one that examines what it means to be dedicated to the freedom of each patient from the suffering imposed by their ego in this life.

In that context, the school I am in and the fledgling organization built around the lineage as taught by my Sensei is far behind the evolutionary impulse at the cutting edge of the transpersonal medicine and post-post-modern medicine (i.e., integral medicine) as envisioned by my generation's evolutionary thinkers and practitioners in this field.

The masters of old, and the masters of today who hold the secret knowledge of their honed skills and genius are no longer compelling enough on their own to be relevant in a world context of what integral medicine can offer in a time of global crisis of the health and bankruptcy of spirituality and conviction the western plague of post-darwinian democratic capitalism has left in its wake on the human soul.

This style of teaching is no longer relevant if it is touted as the 'one true way', or 'the only way', or if it is taught to specific people, in specific ways, to survive in a specific limited context of practice, nor is it enough to defy the establishment! That is not to say that the knowledge at its fullest depth is not important, nor do I seek to demean or discount the value of wisdom and method passed down from master to the student. There are fewer more exquisite opportunities than that - but this is not enough.

In prior times, where an apprentice style program was relevant in producing acupuncturists, it resulted in developing practitioners exceptionally trained to serve their immediate community to the depth necessary to address all illness to the deepest degree that context of practice would allow. The digging of 'one well' within one's training was enough to cure most things which developed in the context of the body in the context of the culture. In a global society where one modality isn't able to keep up with the degree of neurosis and disease in our culture and must compete with a world marketplace of problems and distractions to the redemption of each soul from their self-imposed prisons, a style of communication of secretly guarded knowledge from master to student is no longer relevant if the modality is to survive, let alone flourish and become effective in not only curing the body, but curing the mal-attachments of the soul.

In short, all these former medicines address the branch, and not the root. And where the medicines do address the root, they do so not as a result of a formalized method of detecting and dealing with illnesses that attach to the spirit, but through individual wisdom and insight gained purely as a result of decades of mastership and personal inquiry by each practitioner. It is because of this lack of integral context that I have felt so constrained by what I am being asked to learn in the narrow context of education aligned with its own agendas which concentrate on the middle and lower class of medicine. I realize standards must be maintained to maintain purity of a tradition - but given my hearts desire, these modalities do not speak to the heart. These all occur as standing in parallel to my full self-expression, and the expression of the evolutionary impulse towards wholeness that I am being called to. There must be a way to align together to the same goal, a goal that all these medicines were called to as written in the Sheng Nong Ben Cao.

The fledgling organization has had 9 graduates since its inception, and many a dream to grow the organization to a foundation which bridges East and West in bringing the very best of Japanese acupuncture modalities into the West. Despite this vision, I seen noone take up the challenge of truly bringing this vision into reality. Each graduate has their secrets, their own private ways of doing things, and their own knowledge. The apprenticeship method employed by the master in the past swore these graduates to the practice of this particular modality to ensure its survival and its eventual dissemination into all corners of the globe. I believe that the organization has been ill-equipped thus far to carry out that mission in light of how few graduates the organization has had, and its lack of evolutionary leadership in the past, either out of necessity, lack of time, lack of interest, or lack of readiness, or lack of group talent. The master herself has changed her teaching style over the years, and is now no longer as strict as she was in the training of her prior 9 disciples. She is hoping that a few will have the will, the follow through, and the genius to take this modality and spread the gospel throughout the world. I believe that this will happen, and that it is destiny for it to happen. This modality creates miracles in the human body, and through the personal wisdom of the master, it provides healing to the spirit as well.

The organization has some written collateral in various stages of organization, but mostly this collateral exists in hand written notes, and word of mouth knowledge, passed on between teacher and student, and student to student. The full context, a growth strategy, is either non-existent, underdeveloped, secret, or simply unpublished.

The story of that organization resembles that of Hawayo Takata - the bringer of Usui Reiki to the west. Her direct lineage-holders were few, and were sworn to various acts of secrecy. The students were charged huge training fees so as to value the gift they were being given and to ensure its survival in the purest form possible. Several splinter groups originated from the student body - some who swore to keep the lineage pure and secret, and some who thought the knowledge should be passed on and made available to the widest audience possible. Many disagreements continue to this day regarding the true Reiki, its true mode of practice, and its true potential for healing. It is inevitable that in spreading of this knowledge, the potential for loss of depth existed, and no doubt resulted in a failure to fully communicate the lineage, even as individual practitioners made the practice their own, yet passed on their version as 'the original'.

This is apparent in some of the practitioners of Reiki who I come across who have a very poor understanding of the nature of Reiki (as taught to me), its uses, the depth of its symbolic system of energy manipulation, and the power that the practitioners hold in their hands. Reiki was passed on to me by someone who I know respects the Reiki lineage greatly and makes his whole living on Reiki alone, while running an office, and a training center built purely based on a full time Reiki practice. My Reiki teacher is aware of all of these off shoots and has integrated many of the splinters back into the modality that he practices - a modality that rendered him an exceptionally powerful healer. And what little of the depth I know myself, I can still sense its presence.

What is happening now is that there is a movement to regain the roots of original Reiki, and many practitioners are seeking that which was lost - that which was never written down, that which was kept secret and never published. And who's to believe whom? There are too many people claiming to have the truth as passed down from Hawayo Takata.

Hopefully this same mistake can be avoided with Seitai Shinpo, and the modality can take its place within a master's true set of tools which if utilized with original depth, and original integrity can help create a truly integral approach to practice.

In last Thursday's annual business meeting of Seitai Shinpo acupuncturists, I presented a challenge in the next evolutionary phase of the organization by unveiling a new community website. The purpose of this private website is the digitization of, categorization, and standardization of years of notes, documents, and brain trust that has been passed down from the Sensei to her students over the years. The goal of which is to eventually create a standardized training text as well as provide student and practitioner resources.

Amongst the many cries of excitement from current students and former graduates at a shared vision rising out of the void into a tangible first effort, I have already met with some resistance from the chief knowledge holder of the group - but the resistance is well justified and encouraging. It means that there is a true interest in preserving intellectual property, and therefore there is a true interest in developing a strategic vision, principles, guidelines, and standards for Seitai Shinpo and its dissemination into the world.

Perhaps out of these shadows will come a light. As for me, my heart isn't at rest. I will dedicate my time and energy to the creation of this vision and the standardization of this modality into a practice the world can get to know, but my heart will not be satisfied there, my heart lies in the elements, and it is to the elements I must return if I am to realize my personal destiny.