More Questions than Answers

Oh what a day. It started off with a 8:30am hike up Diamond Head crater rim. I wouldn't recommend it for anyone who isn't into staircases. One frightening one of extremely sheer 75 steps puts my body mind and spirit to the test. Panting and dripping wet I arrived at the summit.

It was strange to survey this landscape with the potential thought of this becoming my new home. By the end of the evening, however, this idea has raised more questions than provided me with answers.

It was my intention to hike the Manoa Falls trail before having lunch, going back to the hotel, showering, and checking out the Waikiki clinic prior to going up to the temple for school. Instead of going directly to the trail from Diamond Head, I swang by the clinic and instead of waiting to get changed out of my sweat drenched clothing, I decided to walk in - to hell with looking (and smelling) good. There were two student interns, a 2nd year and a 4th year dispensing herbs, and a faculty member supervisor. It was a fairly forced conversation given that we were strangers to eachother, and given that the clinic was busy, I didn't feel right to monopolize their time.

I shared with them my intention of investigating the school and what had led me there. I started asking some questions regarding clinic protocol, but I do not feel like I either asked the right questions, or that I was blocked in some way in knowing that the right questions were. Its difficult to ask people to compare themselves to something else - something that they have no direct experience of. I spoke for about 10 minutes with the professor and learned that on Saturday the school will be hosting a Worsley Five Element guy to talk about 5E acupuncture. I was invited to attend the 9am theory class given by the professor, and I was also invited to make a clinic appointment which I booked for 1:30 tomorrow.

The clinic was small - good Feng Shui, but strange practices. There are two patients per room, with interns wondering in and out to complete various tasks on computers. No privacy, and open ceilings thus ensuring that everyone can hear every conversation. The clinic has 3 treatment rooms, each with two beds. I found this quite odd.

I said my goodbyes and proceeded towards the trail, saving the analysis of the situation for later.

Manoa Falls...

The hike to the waterfall was harder than the guidebook implied - mainly due to the mud that made the hike rather treacherous. Though beautiful, the hike did not compare to Maui's bamboo forest. Still, there was a trail off to the left of the waterfall which according to the park literature promised the real bamboo forest, but due to time constrains and weariness from having done two hikes that morning I decided to return to town to shower and drive to class.

The Temple...

I was not expected at the temple and when I met the principle she was very busy with workload associated with the school's upcoming reaccreditation review. She took some time to talk with me and asked pointed questions regarding why I was considering switching schools. I answered as best I could, and after being given the tour I was sat down in the office while she carried on with her paperwork. It seemed that everything out of my mouth did not convey properly what my intention was as all my questions were Five Element and spiritual point in nature. I was told several times that this was not a Five Element school. I had to defend myself by stating that I knew this, but I had hear that the school integrated Five Element philosophy as well as spiritual acupuncture points. When I finally shared my history I stated that while Tai Sophia was my first choice, I could not go there because of admissions requirements, and that when I chose to go to my current school I really was not well equipped to have known what the curriculum was lacking. So there I was, sitting in a grand master's office, not knowing what on earth to say or do next while being regarded with suspicion. I had laid out my quest with no knowledge of the measure by which I would know whether I had found the solution. I stated that I knew that TCM methodology was Yang and Five Element was Yin and that both modalities are needed to attain balance. This seemed to balance the conversation and resulted in a more open demeanor.

How does one gauge something as subjective as spiritual experience and the tools to communicate it to a patient and attribute it to a certain delivery method which you can then study?

I attended two classes. One was a Qi Gong class, and I must say that I was impressed. The 2nd trimester students were good - very good. The form was performed with mantra chanting which bellowed through the temple giving a resonance to the whole experience. Upon conclusion the teacher provided instruction on calligraphy and its interpretive use as a diagnosis tool of past present and future events both of the calligrapher and the patient about which the calligraphy is created. It was very woo woo and implied a degree of divinatory significance in the subjective interpretation of all observable phenomena associated with each brush stroke and its analysis. All of this made me think back to Ken Wilber's essay on the pre/trans fallacy.

This school will deliver on woo woo, but will it deliver on practical spiritual treatment principles? How can I know this?

I sat through this class and through the single herbs class that followed. The format of delivery was quite different than my school, and was actually less informative, but retained my interest more.

The curriculum itself is structured completely differently than my school. Unlike my school which attempts to deliver all didactic knowledge within the first 2 years and therefore requires 9-6pm classes three days a week, this school's students are completely relaxed and have no collective tension. All classes take places 3 times a week in the evenings, and run a total of 4 hours. People can maintain jobs and have a wide study schedule. It seems that though they cover the same material as my school, there's something about my school that occurs as way harder than this one. I'm not sure I've discovered fully what that is and how great acupuncturists are produced from this school given how relaxed they are! I feel far more ahead given what I have accomplished in my two trimesters than these first years, but they are certainly ahead with the esoterics than my school is. The program is certainly slower though it completes in the same time. If I come to study here, how much would I have to be repeating? Would the slower pace relax me or frustrate me? What would I do with all the spare time?

All in all, I feel like this school is less demanding in its didactic curriculum than mine, yet more demanding in the esoteric curriculum. This is complete conjecture and probably differs from reality. I arrived here hoping for an answer to my questions - while not knowing well what my questions were - hoping for a solution. I am disappointed. Many questions arise which will not be answered by this school for me.

What I intended was to find a solution. Have I adequately identified the problem?
What is it that I am looking for what I am not getting in my school and can any school deliver on what I am looking for?
Is a more relaxed schedule better than a more rigorous one?
What would I do if I actually had time to work?
Do I feel spirit, home, appropriateness at this school? Does the Qi resonate with me? So far, the answer is no.

What I'm disappointed most by is the possibility that I am in the only school I should be in right now, that I'll have to grin and bare it, and that changing it is not going to work in my favor scholastically. It may work for me on many other levels, but I've not identified all that now. Tai Sophia burns in my mind - and yet I also feel that this will not give me everything I'm looking for either. Perhaps I have surpassed appeasement and am now requesting that which doesn't exist.

Tomorrow I attend a theory class and I have a clinic appointment. After that I plan to drive the windward side of the island. The two questions I've come up with so far are - what are the spirit channels and how are they used in this modality, and how does the diagnosis and treatment protocol differ in this modality from 8P TCM.

Picture from the day will follow tomorrow.